I should note that in addition to the infamous mountain-kiss scandal ("Kissgate"), Steve and Andrea also dressed to the nines*, took five-thousand pictures, invited all of their friends and family, said a bunch of gobbledegook** about love and commitment and forever, filled everyone with food and drink and cake, then made everyone dance way past their bedtimes. The outrage!
(Warning: In the next paragraph, "K&E in NYC" will briefly deviate from its strict policy of nothing-but-humor-or-at-least-attempted-humor.)
Steve and Andrea's wedding, including the entire weekend of festivities, was simply wonderful. While the weather in Steamboat could have been a bit drier - okay, it could have been a lot drier - the rain did stop long enough to allow for a beautiful outdoor ceremony on top of Thunderhead Mountain, followed by one heck of a party. Steve and Andrea are perfect for one another, and there is no question that they have years of fun and laughter ahead.
(Resuming standard policy.)
While Steve and Andrea "took the plunge" that day, the biggest plunge of all was taken by Paul. In fact, Paul took two plunges. That morning, the four of us (Jeannie, Paul, Katy, and I) thought it would be fun to try Steamboat's alpine slide. For you flatlanders that don't know what an alpine slide is, it derives from everone's favorite Winter Olympic event: the one-man luge. Instead of ice and blades, though, the slide is made of fiberglass, and the sled runs on wheels.
Alpine sliding is not meant to be difficult. Unlike real luging, there is no full-body spandex, no push-start, no running on ice and jumping onto a careening sled, no leaning, no turning, no helmets, and they don't give out medals at the bottom. I don't even think there's an age limit. The only thing you control is the brake, which is a single lever situated between your knees as you sit on the sled. To operate: push to go forward, let go for a gentle stop, pull back for a screeching halt. Somehow, Paul missed these instructions.
For our first run, Paul and I started together for a friendly race down the mountain. As we began our descent, I thought to myself, "Hey, Paul's never driven a car faster than 27 miles an hour, so I'll just take it easy and wait for him at the bottom." Wrong. Before I finished that thought, a Paul-shaped blur was two turns ahead of me, disappearing into the trees. I didn't see him again until halfway down the mountain, when I passed him trying to get back on his sled. I thought to myself, "Paul must have stopped to take a potty break." Wrong. When we met up at the bottom, I could see from the missing skin (knees, hands, elbow) and melted polyester jacket (seriously) that Paul had taken a fall. If you were paying attention above, you know that this should not be possible.
We took the lift up for a second run. Not wanting to lose any more skin, Paul noted his intent to "take it easy this time," which he did. Three turns into our second run, I was comfortably in the lead, and I thought to myself, "Well, good, he's really taking it easy, so he won't fall this time." Wrong. I got to the bottom and waited. And waited. And waited. And, finally, he rounded the last corner - going two miles an hour - and made it to the bottom. He had done the impossible. He had fallen on the alpine slide. Twice.
Then we went to Wal-Mart for bandages and ointment.
With love,
Katy & Erik
* The phrase "dress to the nines" derives from "to the nine", a phrase used in 18th Century England to describe high standards or perfection. It is unknown when the phrase first was used to describe clothing or a manner of dress, but it was no later than the mid-19th Century. Theories abound as to the significance of the number nine, though the Internet has not yet reached a consensus. (See also: Cloud Nine, The Whole Nine Yards)
** "Gobbledegook" is a real word. I know this, because the dictionary says so.
1 comment:
Honestly when we got the call that Paul was hurt on the alpine slide I wish I would have seen that! (Obviously waiting to laugh till I knew he was ok.....) but seriously! Steve (Mr. arrive alive to any event) told Katy not to go on it that it is scary. (Sidenote: Steve hates Merry-go-rounds so never listen to him) SO poor Paul goes tumbling down the mountain. What a trooper to do the alpine slide not once, but twice!!
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